


Colder Than Hell

by Sinnabon_Delights



Category: Red Dead Redemption 2
Genre: Angst, Gen, lets get that sad bread cowpokes, set a year before the epilogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 01:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17336510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinnabon_Delights/pseuds/Sinnabon_Delights
Summary: The Grizzlies were a cold place. Much like the men that called it home.





	Colder Than Hell

The stinging cold of the Grizzlies’ air was nothing compared to the anxiety bubbling in your chest. You stood still infront of an unseemly cabin, the snow just below your shins. You had been standing there for a few minutes now, just staring through the dark of night at the door. So many thoughts were running through your mind but they all had the same origin. What was going to happen when you opened that door? Would there be any talking or just gun smoke?

Would he even remember you?

Seven years. Seven long years of tracking and you were finally going to be reunited with the man that destroyed the only family you had. The same man you had deeply cared for, even loved. The man that helped piece you together then tore you down. Micah Bell.  
With a deep breath, you willed yourself towards the cabin. With each step through the snow, your heart beat increased. You weren’t sure of what was going to go down tonight, but you were ready to face it. What you wanted was answers, and maybe to be the one to put the bastard down. Or maybe you just wanted to see him once more.  
If you had listened to Arthur and what you had brushed off as nagging, you wouldn’t be here. You’d probably be down in Mexico, drinking beer while mingling with the locals instead of being atop of a freezing mountain and hunting down your ex lover. But there was no time for regrets, and even less time to look back on the past so you trudged ever onward.

Your breath caught in your throat as you reached for the door handle, and with the skipping of a heartbeat you flung it open and stepped inside.  
You were met with a pistol barrel between your eyes, but looking past that you saw what you were searching for. Although more worn down and aged, he was standing there with his pistol trained onto you.  
It was quiet for a moment, both of you taking the presence of the other in. Perhaps he was as shocked as you were. You were the first to speak, a small crack in your voice, “Its been a while, huh?”

“That it has, (Y/n), that it has.” Micah spoke softly, he had thought that he would never say that name again. The name that brought so many memories and emotions with it. A simple word with so much meaning. “What brings you up here? I doubt it’s the scenic views, as stunning as they are…” he asked although he knew damn well what you were here for. Him.  
He didn’t think you made it out alive, what with all the chaos all those years ago. So seeing you infront of him sent him through a loop, mind spiraling with feelings and thoughts he hadn’t had in a long time. Micah wanted to put the gun down and grab you, to hold you close and spill the years of grieving out. To chew your ear off all night about his worries, like he used to. To make up for lost time. But he knew in his heart that that wasn’t going to happen, though. With all he had done to you, there would only be one way this could go. With one of you falling.

“Don’t play coy with me, Micah. It doesn’t suit you.” You tilted your head at him, giving him a weak smile. “I know you know.” You kept still, for now, the air from outside blowing in. You had hoped for a greeting a bit more welcoming than this, but knowing Micah would throw his gang to the wolves this didn’t surprise you too much.

His blue eyes were locked with yours, his eyes looking as if he were far off from here, “I know you came for me… But what do you want with me?” He cocked the pistol, making it clear he wouldn’t hesitate in ending your life. You gulped, and you were at a loss for words.

“I loved you.” You blurted out, your mind shoving words out for you. “I loved ya’ so god damned much, Micah Bell,” You began to choke up, brows furrowing and your lower lip trembling. Despite everything he had done, the people he had killed and the life of yours he had torn to shreds, you still loved him. It could never be the same with him, he was far beyond redemption, but there was still a spot of love for him within you.

“But I can’t never forgive you.” With all of the speed you had, you went for your pistol. Before you could ever draw it, though, a gunshot halted any movements you had begun. Your body crumpled onto the floor with a thump, blood pouring from the hole between your eyes and onto the wooden floor. The look of sorrow frozen on your face would haunt Micah for the rest of his life. Micah looked down at your body, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He was half sure you’d sit up and fill him full of lead, but you didn’t. Instead you stayed laying on the ground, completely motionless as the other half of him knew you would. He let out the breath he had been holding, and he bent down to pick you up. Instead of throwing you over his shoulder, he scooped your lifeless body up into his arms.  
Although his body was going through motions, Micah was still stuck in that moment before he pulled the trigger. The last thing you ever told him was that you loved him, that you still loved him. And in that moment he realized that he never truly told you how much you meant to him. Ever. Even when things were fine and dandy seven years ago, he never once said those three words aloud.

Micah walked outside, carrying the still warm body in his arms. He looked to the sky, and despite it being pitch black he could see blizzard clouds rolling in. Knowing it would be worthless trying to dig through all of the already piled high snow and frozen ground with more snow to come, a more unceremonious funeral was called for. He made his way to a nearby ledge, looking over the landscape with your body held tightly against him.  
He was gripping onto it as if he could do something with it, as if he could dig out the bullet and bring you back. He let go of you once, but how could he do it twice? His heart wrenched and he grit his teeth, wanting to look at you and take you in one last time, but he was unable to do so. Your face, your god damned perfect face was ruined. Micah would never see you smile, would never see those eyes look at him with warmth. Would never feel your warmth again.  
He couldn’t look at what he’d done to you, and so he tossed you off of the cliff, watching as your body rolled through the snow and to the bottom. He stayed there for longer than he should’ve, staring down after your body. He contemplated joining you, but the thought left his head quickly. He still had things to do in this life of his, but he knew a piece of him would be missing for the rest of it. He thought he felt empty before, but this was a whole new experience. For the first time he was glad to be old.

Micah felt cold. Not just Mount Hagen in the middle of winter cold, no, he was much colder than that. “(Y/n).” He let the name fall from his tongue, turning his gaze up to the far off, snow capped mountains. “(Y/n).” One last time he spoke that name, his jaws clenching. Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes, and he reached up and drug a gloved hand down his face to stop them.  
With one last glance at your final resting place, he turned around and began the short trek back to the cabin. He had a sinking feeling in his chest that he would try his damnedest to drink away, but he knew that no matter how much he’d put down he could never wash you away.


End file.
